Christian Marriage: a Contemplative Vocation

There is a beautiful passage from the documents of the Second Vatican Council that teaches just this. In Gaudium et Spes, we read:

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Christian spouses have a special sacrament by which they are fortified and receive a kind of consecration in the duties and dignity of their state. By virtue of this sacrament, as spouses fulfill their conjugal and family obligation, they are penetrated with the spirit of Christ, which suffuses their whole lives with faith, hope and charity. Thus they increasingly advance the perfection of their own personalities, as well as their mutual sanctification, and hence contribute jointly to the glory of God.

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The need for such a sacrament is obvious. The demands of Christian marriage are arduous: unity, fidelity, chastity, indissolubility, openness to life (with all that that entails), and the total self-giving of agape love. Christian spouses are to lay down their lives for one another just as Christ did for the Church – and not just for their material well being, but for their sanctification and salvation. When the apostles learned what sacramental marriage entailed, they couldn’t believe it. “It is better not to marry,” they said. But Jesus responded that it can be done by those “to whom it is given,” (i.e., those who receive the grace). (Matthew 19: 10-11)

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Tragically, many Christians do not experience the sublime graces available to their marriages. Pope Pius XI spoke about this in his encyclical Casti Connubii (1930). He wrote that, for the most part, Christian marriage is like a treasure hidden in the field, because men do not cooperate with grace. St. John Paul II also wrote about this in his exhortation Familiaris Consortio (1981). He explained that Christian spouses must cooperate with grace by striving after virtue, by giving themselves to prayer and the sacraments, and by embracing everything the Church teaches about human sexuality. The Pope said:

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There is no doubt that these conditions [for receiving the grace] must include persistence and patience, humility and strength of mind, filial trust in God and in His grace, and frequent recourse to prayer and to the sacraments of the Eucharist and of Reconciliation. Thus strengthened, Christian husbands and wives will be able to keep alive their awareness of the unique influence that the grace of the sacrament of marriage has on every aspect of married life, including therefore their sexuality: the gift of the Spirit, accepted and responded to by husband and wife, helps them to live their human sexuality in accordance with God’s plan and as a sign of the unitive and fruitful love of Christ for His Church.

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The evidence backs up the Pope’s words. Recent surveys show that Christians who don’t frequently practice their religion divorce at or above the national average. Christians who practice, however, have much more stable marriages and devout Catholics, in particular, have some of the most stable marriages around. Catholic sociologist Charles Stokes reports that devout, Church-attending Catholics have a divorce rate 76% lower than the national average. (TheFederalist.com: “A Bit of Religion Can be Bad for Marriage”) Another study by the Family of Americas Foundation found that NFP-users (surely devout Catholics) divorce only .2% of the time. (That’s Point-Two percent, not two percent.)

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Christian Marriage is a supernatural reality. It offers us supernatural grace. But to make this grace fruitful, we must make use of supernatural means. If we give ourselves to prayer, the sacraments, and to the life of marital chastity, it should not surprise us that the result will be an increase in holiness. And the results of this chaste holiness will be contemplative union with God. “Blessed are the pure in heart,” says Jesus, “for they shall see God.”

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